A man approached a very beautiful redhead in the large local supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife in here while shopping, can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman looked puzzled.
“Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked. “Because every time I talk to a lovely woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife ALWAYS appears out of nowhere”
JOKE: 3rd Times not the charm (FORUM)
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another fellow and immediately notices that the guy has a very large disposable Bic cigarette lighter. The first guy says: “Wow, cool lighter. Where did you get it?”
The second guy replies: “A genie from a bottle granted me one wish.”
“Great, can I try it?” the first guy asks.
“Sure,” the second guy replies.
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he first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. “You are granted one wish,” says the genie.
The first guy says: “I want a million bucks!”
“Done,” says the genie and disappears.
A few minutes go by, and suddenly the bar door swings open and thousands and thousands of ducks start pouring in.
“I can’t believe this,” says the first guy: “I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!”
The second guy turns to him and says: “Do you really think I wished for a 12-inch Bic?”
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
One of the worst based on future outcome, no pun intended. Personally in the full version I think it looks like body paint more than a tat, but still!
Full version can be found here http://www.flickr.com/photos/flavour404/3901815800/
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up” “Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but
otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?”
You’ll love the answer…
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The wife replied, “I did. They’re in your fishing box.
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
A Texas man committed suicide in jail after he was arrested for having sex with a horse. Andrew Mendoza, who is 29-years-old, of Wharton County, Texas, was jailed after he allegedly had sex with a horse.
According to reports, Mendoza allegedly admitted to investigators that he had sex with the horse as he was trying to get the animal pregnant. While many see it as animal abuse, Mendoza, might have seen it as a science according to reports. Mendoza also told investigators that he planned to get the horse pregnant, hoping the encounter would produce a “horseman baby.”
According to the Sheriff’s Office in Wharton County, Mendoza explained that he decided to have sex with the horse after his girlfriend stood him up. They were supposed to go out on a date but she never called. 
During an interview with police, Mendoza said that he was waiting to hear from his girlfriend, when he decided that if she did not call him he will have sex with a horse. Mendoza went ahead and put his plan into action after the woman never called. He then went on to explain how he did it: “I got into my neighbor’s pen with the horse. I dumped out the water bucket and put it upside down and put it behind the horse. The horse did not move it just stood there, I guess the horse liked it,” Mendoza said according to report.
Mendoza was booked into the county jail and charged with public lewdness and criminal trespass. He was sentenced to four months in prison. But before he could finish his sentence, Mendoza committed suicide by hanging himself in his jail cell.
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
A menage a trois went horribly wrong last Friday when a North Dakota man stabbed a male friend after he refused to switch positions during a tryst with a female, according to court records.
Ashley Hunter, 33, has been charged with felony aggravated assault for allegedly stabbing Orlando Dewitt, 37, in the arm during the encounter.
DeWitt and Hunter were friends who met in prison and were partying with several female acquaintances Friday night at a bar in Fargo, N.D., when they went to Hunter’s home to continue the party with a woman.
According to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun, DeWitt was having sex with a woman named Leticia while she was performing oral sex on Hunter.
“Hunter then asked to switch places with Orlando,” the Fargo Police Department report stated. “Orlando told him no and Hunter became upset.”
An argument ensued, with DeWitt allegedly calling Hunter a “f—– retard.”
DeWitt said Hunter threatened to kill him and said Hunter reached for a 12-inch knife. DeWitt and Leticia fled to a bathroom naked while Hunter ran after them while holding the knife.
“Orlando said he decided to run for the front door,” the police report goes on to say, according to The Smoking Gun.
DeWitt tried to flee the home and was able to get through the first door, but when he “went to open the exterior door he felt the knife cutting the back of his left arm.”
DeWitt was not seriously injured in the stabbing, the website reported. He used Leticia’s phone to call 911.
Hunter is scheduled to appear in court March 13 to answer charges related to the stabbing.
COMPILED FROM MULTIPLE SOURCES
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
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…the brain knows what it wants!!!
A Kentucky man who is suing his surgeon for amputating part of his penis without his consent was at the Kentucky Court of Appeals this week to argue his case further.
In 2007, Phillips Seaton of Waddy, lay on Dr John Patterson’s operating table for a procedure intended only as a circumcision to treat an inflammation.
But during the surgery when the doctor discovered a cancerous growth, he took action to remove it along with part of Seaton’s organ, relying on what Seaton’s lawyer believes is a ‘vague’ medical waiver signed by a man who clearly did not understand it.
Kevin George told the appeals panel that the medical waiver signed by his client contains extremely broad language and that Dr. John Patterson should have sought consent before removing the penis.
‘The point is… a patient has a right,’ George said. ‘The doctor does not have the right to do whatever he wants, even if it turns out to be reasonable.
Judges Janet Stumbo and Donna Dixon took in the 30 minutes of arguments in Frankfort over whether a judge erred in the jury instructions and if the pre-surgery medical consent form was valid or the language in it proved to be too vague.
Judge Michael Caperton missed the arguments. Stumbo said Caperton mistakenly went to Louisville for the case, but would listen to a recording of it later
Stumbo said a decision is expected in about two months.
Patterson, a Kentucky-based urologist, maintains he found cancer in the man’s penis during surgery and that it had to be removed. The patient claims the surgery was supposed to be a circumcision and he never authorized the amputation, nor was he given a chance to seek a second opinion.
The Seatons sued Patterson in Shelby County Circuit Court in 2008 after an operation that resulted in the amputation. Seaton, now in his 60s, was having the procedure on Oct. 19, 2007, to better treat inflammation.
The Seatons also sued Jewish Hospital, where the surgery took place. The hospital settled with the Seaton and his wife, Deborah, for an undisclosed amount.
Seaton, sporting glasses and a long, gray and white ponytail, sat quietly as the attorneys recounted the details of the case and argued over whether the judge’s rulings and the jury’s outcome were correct.
‘No comment right now,’ Seaton said as he left the courtroom.
Both sides of the case agree that Seaton had cancer in his penis, but the main point of contention is over whether Patterson acted reasonably in removing the organ or could amputation have been delayed to give Seaton time to seek other medical options.
Clay Robinson, the attorney for Patterson, noted that Seaton, although he claimed to be mostly illiterate, signed two separate consent forms before the surgery. When Patterson started the surgical procedure, he found no living tissue, instead revealing a cancer-riddled organ that needed removal, Robinson said.
‘This case isn’t about a man’s penis being removed, it’s about cancer being removed,’ Robinson said.
Stumbo noted that Patterson, after finding the cancer, didn’t momentarily halt the surgery and seek the consent of Deborah Seaton, who was outside the operating room.
Robinson said the couple had been separated at the time of the procedure.
‘She was not designated as a medical decision maker for Mr. Seaton,’ Robinson said.
George noted that Seaton signed the two consent forms in the days before the surgery, but said his client was basically illiterate and didn’t intend to give Paterson consent to amputate, only conduct a circumcision. Stumbo appeared to agree.
‘I noticed these were very, very, very broad instructions,’ Stumbo said.
Dixon asked why Patterson felt it was necessary to amputate as much of the penis as he did.
‘Is there another procedure… he could have had that would have meant he wouldn’t have had to have part of his penis removed?’ Dixon said.
‘The direct answer is, no,’ Robinson replied. ‘The removal of the cancer did not preclude his having his penis reconstructed.’
Stumbo, though, seemed troubled by Patterson’s decision to amputate the penis without seeking further consent to do so or giving Seaton an opportunity to explore other options.
‘Was it truly an emergency?’ Stumbo asked. ‘That’s the question.’
SOURCE: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2201814/Man-sues-doctor-wrongly-amputating-penis-surgery.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
…the brain knows what it wants!!!
